On This Page, You will read and view the happenings that occured when 40 students, 6 teachers, and a bus driver called TIMMMMERRRRRR travelled to the snow!!!!
On the 8th of September, Heaps of Exeter kiddies, a River kiddie, and about 10 Del City(Deloraine) Freak shows Departed Tasmania on the Spirit of Tasmania for a week of what were to come known as, CRACKWHORES, VIBRATIONS, HAM -BUGGAS, DEEP FRIED SAUSAGES, and little sleep for all shit talkers who were coming!!
And as we re-visit the weeks events, memories come flooding back to the very first day and night, the time spent on the rusty, shitty, FUCK-HEAP of a boat, called "The Spirit of Tasmania!" Tha 1st thing to happen on here was "THE TRIPPING OVER OF THE COT" Yes as Caitlin attempted to jump a cot, and fell straight on her Crack of an ass, Gemma and Jacqui did the Cathy Freeman of a Bolt, to leave the poor little River Softserve facing the music by some very disturbed owners of the cot! This was a commended Jump Dores!!!!
With 12 hours and 22 minutes left,What else was there to do on the Fuckheap with 11 metre waves, than of course Use our trusty tele-communicational MOBILES or vibrators! But being in the middle of no where, Range was pretty hard to come by, so JACKASS, GEMMZ AND DORES were given the title of "RANGE ROVERS" roving the perimeter of the fuckbucket searching for that ultimate glory, RANGE! But to no avail!
After arriving in Melbourne at some ungoddly hour in the morning we met TIMMMMMMMYYYYYYY our bus driver, seemed likea bit of a dude so far! we sat near Adam Tyson on t he bus. Tys thought he would abuse some fat mumma, we thought this was rude, Tys thought we were rude and started on us, gemmz was not impressed and after thinking about it for a while she stuck the leg out into the aisle and kickboxed Tys to the head! Funny really!
After sorting out Gibbo and possum faces dog we headed off to Melbourne market to try and grab some bargains, after maccas for breakie and half an hour at the shitty market we were quite ready enough to head off to CHADDY for some proper shopping. When arrived in Chaddy, Tiiiimmmmmmyyy the tool box parked about 8 kms away from the joint. so us little kiddies walked to chaddie. All quite overwhelmed by the bigness of it all and the variety and range of shopping we were all about to enjoy for the next couple of hours!
This was our only real time to spend some money! so after finding our way to Peninsula and Jetty surf shops we spent quite some time, swapping shops, to try and find what we wanted.
All quite exhausted and shopped out, we headed back to the bus and looked at what everyone else bought! Some people spend their money on the uttermost shit!
Then we all headed off to Colonial Stadium for the final of finals, between Sydney and Hawthorn! and Yes we were going there! YAY!!Whilst Gibbo had to take some wanks to the zoo! we were heading for THE FRONT ROW!! YES THE VERY FRONT ROW @ Colonial to watch the game!! The excitement of it all was getting to us all, and we virtually ran to our seats! On arriving there finding gemma wasnt ment to be sitting in the front row, the generosity shown by jacqui was Greatful! So the gurls sharing the crack rang their family and friends all back in Tassie to tell them where they were!!! Throughout the game we were shown on the big screen waving and shouting!!!! YES WE WERE FAMOUS!!!! PRETTY OVERWELMING FOR US ALLL!!
Anyway we then headed off to Glenrowan, the home of the bushrangers, to get some McDonalds. Tiiiimmmmmyyyy wouldn't let us eat on the bus, so we sat on the cold cement, Caitlin with her thickshake in her hand, she went to sit on the cold cement, trying to build up her piles, she squeezed her shake and spilt it all over her! This wasn't good for Me as I had to sit next to her for another couple of hours until we got to Bright. She smelt like milky spew, but that was no drama as we had our vibrators(fones) to kept our minds off the smell. Arriving in Bright at about 11pm, the teachers didn't think we were tired enough so they made us go to the coach house ski shop to get fitted with ski gear, boots, skis and poles, we loaded skis and poles on the bus and took the rest to the cabin with us. In our little home, number 13, there were 6 little girls, 5 very fun loving and humorous, 1 was not! We then went to sleep all hyped and excited for the next day, which was to be filled with excitement fun and trying to ski!
Well it Was our 3rd day away from our beloved familys, but our first taste of ski ing, for some of us beginners neway! We left Bright, all dressed and ready to fall, break some legs, and sack some instructors at some rediculous hours early on the Mondy morning! After Timmmerrrs one hour bus trip, we arrived @ MT HOtham to be greeted by shitloads of snow and 17 degrees! It was a bloody scorcher of a day! B4 our lesson, some of us begginers were having trouble ski ing so we thought stuff ski ing lets slide down head first down some hills! Yeh twas quite fun @ the time! Neway getting on to the lesson! We got divided up into groups depending on our skills! Jacqui Dorey and Gemma not having many @ this time joined the likes of Karley, Ang, Tara and a number of others! Libby some red clothed wearing instructor met us!And this is where our fuckheap of our lesson began! Having nevr skied b4, LIbby was constantly telling us off, for knocking over snow boarders and falling over!! To add a bit of snow into her little face,we told Gibbo and snow Pro about her poor attitude to us, and got the bitch sacked!!! HAHAH CYA LATER LIBBY YA CRACKWHORE! so that was the end of her! SO after a barbie cooked by TIMMMER, Dores, Gemmz, Jak, Karlz, decided they would attempt a slope with some of the skills they had learnt! WEll after some umming and arghing Gemma started to ski down only to fall over, get tangled up and break two legs! The chicken was sitting half way up a mountain with her skis off crying in pain!!! HAHA Neway with some general direction we found our little piece of heaven, THE BIG D! BUilt for Exeters shit ski ers in mind, the beginners slopes were a paridise! After a day in the sun!The bus trip home will be remembered of smelling of Maggi's bloody chicken falavoured noodles! Yes tothe delight of Dorey who was sitting next to Jak, and all fellow passenger around the scene of the crime!Jacqui Allen PIssed herself right there, and right then, on Timmmers bus with an out of order toilet!! Lets face it there was no way out! Timmer was being a crack and wouldnt stop, and jacqui needed to go, so she did! Rather happy @ the best of times, it was a distressing moment for Jak! So an hour later, and we were back in FRESH AIR @ Bright, and spent the remaining of the evening with none other than our trusty vibrators talking to our jealousy sly friends in tasmania!!
Okay after waking up bright and early to gibbo's little beat on the door, we were all excited and ready for a new bloody instructor!
Well we got a new one, her name was Sarah and she was a bloody legend! Dorey was feeling sick on the bus trip up and you will neva guess the seat she had to sit in, oh yea, none other than the piss seat of timmerrrs transports, he he sucked in!
So we got up to Hotham, waited for our lesson, then straight on to some skiing! Gemmz, Dores and Jackass all getting rather experienced now, heading down from the summit. After our lesson we went to the Big D for some foto opportunities, so after a nice day of skiing, not trying, actually doing it now, we were all rather tired and quite sick of some people's laziness. We sat on the bus for about 45 minutes to wait for Bridget and Scott who decided that we should wait for them whilst they went for a few more runs. This making us late back to Bright, swimming was now out of the question. We lazed around a bit b4 a nice tea and a little trivia night. b4 trivia Gemmz and Dores decided to play a little table tennis, both running for the same bat, they tripped over each other and landed ass over head on top of each other. Dorey was quite dirty and they both had a few scratches and bruises over their poor little bodies! Memories.
Anyway we headed off to the restaurant for a little trivia, us being the horses of course. This is when Baz really became ours! We now officially own him! We were very supportive of our team but this wasn't appreciated after some sod got kicked out for a few minutes. RUDENESS! anyway the Del ppl along with Holger and Natalie won the bloody trivia, who really cares!not US, ya crackS;)! So we headed of for our first night of bed swapping, i was in Karley's first than Bridgets, Dorey slept with Karley and Gemmz was in between both! We were all rather sleepy when we heard this big grrrrr@@#$@#^&%#@#$!@rrhdfghg, not to worry it was only MIGHTY, telling us that America was under Attack. After watching the terrorism attack we put our pretty heads on our pillows for some much needed beauty sleep!
Our 3rd day of hitting the slopes, and today we were heading a little further away to Falls CReek! After a rather FUCKED ride, thanx timmer!!! We arrived ta see slightly lesser snow and chairlifts that were on steroids! Yes travelling @ the speed of light, the chair lifts were a new experience for all! But yet there was more to come! After crusing down the slope of highway 83 we were confronted with a chairlift!!But this being no ordinary chairlift! As dores and Gemmz braced themself for their first ride, a bit of tension arose! not just regular tension tho, this was horny shit! And so what came known as the horn machine, these girls were sighted several times making there way up on this transport!!!! Jacqui being introduced to this delight was not far behind them! Although Falls not as good as Hotham it was still enjoyed by all, until lunch time came and Timmmer let the whole team down because there was no HAM BUGGAS!!! he had fried us chick buggas instead!!Gemma was not happppy!!! And so our 1st day @ Falls ended, and we headed back to good Ol' Bright, for a game of pictionary?? Gibbo wat the fark were U thinking, pictionary!!! And after this fuckheap of a game cabin 13 once again did there regular phoning of friends!
Another day of heading to Falls, not everyones idea mountain, butt it will do!! ON the trip up, we were honoured with the watching of "Dude Wheres My Car"...a shit movie @ the time, until Ching Chong Chun repeated the words "And Den...And deeeeennn, and dennnnnnnn and dennnnnnnnnnnnn"! The mornings again comprising of a lesson! The beginners group headin down slope 4, later renamed the plummet! After Gemma was heard stating "I have no control today" She plummeted on the only flat part of the run! And while the other group members continued onto the bottom, they were entertained with Gemmas antics oflaughing, attempting to put her boots on, attempting to put her skis on, and attempting to put her hat on.Yahh funny shit for such a skilled gurl!!! Another Falls highlight was the POMA RIDE!! After falling off Gemma decided to trip dorey, so she would to fall off, so there half way down Panarama were two gurls, later joined BY baz! As each person passed on the POMA TOW they were greeting witha friendly hello, good morning, or good evening by the trio before being bombarded with a snowball! After a few laughs the snowballs gotbigger and so did the responses, one person passing by was heard to have said to dorey "FuckU" before chasing them down the mountain, the heat was on!! Another Smash to take place was the collision between the 2 gals, Karlz and Jackass! Jacqui speeding down a slope with several jumps @ the speed @ light couldnt turn and miss Karley, so wat better than take her with ya! Good skills there! The remainder of the last day @ FALLs(thank fark!!) was spent doing basically shit all just travelling up the "Horn Machine" which we sadly had to say our goodbyes to! AFTER another superb drive down to Bright by Timmmerr, the girls headed into Bright Central for some much needed supply stockup for room 13! After all grocerys were purchased the girls were greeted by some rather enthused BRIGHT BOYS! who were only to happy to welcome us to their town,home of the famous "Bruce the Goose" and "Snow Pro". This little meeting with the boys, set the gurls on track for another horny related night talkin on their fones to the likes of pedal pusher pro daisy and co.! BY 12, when the majority of room 13 had fallen asleep, 2 shit talkers Gemma and Dores sat in their bed and talked shit for a few hours to come! And when Dorey was heard to have asked Bridget"Do U hate us, cause we are talking" Bridge answered with "NEARLY"! Yes the spirit was still alive! But b4 we had all laid our heads to sleep, Gibbo after an inspection of the cabin had deemed it dangerous, and warned us that we woudlnt be ski ing 2mozz unless it was cleaned!
So it was our last morning waking up @ 6ish in the morning and our last brekkie in Bright!SAd really!After we were all set to leave on Timmerss transport to Go To Hotham! An announcement was made for all room 13 girls to go to their cabin! Ahh shit that was us! Gibbo was goin off his scone after inspecting our cabin and finding it to be an utter messy disgrace!Sozz Gibb!! Neway we finally headed off up the god damm beauty of a mountain!The little beginner group were the lucky ones of the day, after being instructed by a small french instucted by the name of "Samuel"! This young sex god of a beast not very fluent with his aussie language counted on us to teach him the words of the trade.Rallllllllllll was his favourite one, and hearing him saying it made the snowmans melt inside!! And this young french foxy farker taught us to literally dance in the snow, so here we were displaying absolutely floreless technique swaying to and fro to the wind down the summit! A sight that could only be called"FARKEN WIKID SHIT GURLS!" So that was the end of our lesson! SAd really! THe remainder of the last day up the snow was spent searching the shops for somethin to buy! We didnt care wat we just wanted to spend our mummies dosh! Therefore coming out of the shop, we had bought items which infact we farkin hated! thats the spirit girls! Our teary farewells were said to HOTHAM,and we departed on TIMMMMERRRRS TRANSPORT! We got back ta bright, and headed down the icecream store! Where THE GREAT AUSSIE LEGEND, SNOW PRO OR HEATH, which ever one U wish to call him had produced some of his famous bright icecream for his favourite group of skiers to have evr taken to the slopes! US Tassie Kids!!!! and the icecream was absolutely delightful! A credit to the icecream shop and Snow pro!!!! And dennnnn.........OUR FINAL GOODBYES, so as we departed on da bus, we waved goodbye to BRUCE ONE BLOODY BIG GOOSE!! and SNOW PRO!! Sad really!!
The four hour epic journey to the airport had begun! Although this time round not much sleeping was encountered, just the usual ringing of friends, and talking the uttmost bullshit! good shit really!
We all trampled off the bus, and we even forgot to thank TIMMMMERRRR for his shit hospitality! Neway if U are listening right now TIMOTHY, this one goes out to U!TIMMMMMMMMMMMMERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! The 3 girls, Jacqui, Caitlin and Gemma all wearing their hotham lift passes for security purposes had to intercept some marijuana, but other than that it was all smooooth running! Until Gibbo had a bit of a sook, about gemma buzzin when she went through the buzzer thing! Yeh on ya mate, it wasnt even her!Yah neway after boarding out huge Qantas JUmbo, we waited for about 5 hours, until they decided they had had enuff coffee or someshit, and they would fly us home!!! The trip home was all good and we arrived to see all our lovin families rather excited about seeing us! ne one would think we missed them or somethin!!!!YESSSS.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So that was to be the end of our week up the snow! A great trip was had by all, and our thanks must go out to all the teachers who took us, a truly inspritation to us all!! :S!

To Karley Mcintyre the Motivator of the group, who @ the best of times was always standing by to encourage us to clean up our room! A true inspirator and we do thank her! Brooke Luscombe, slightly under the weather up the mountain, but her company was still great and we will forgive our dear pressie as she is the greatest!! Bridget Widdowsen was put in the hands of Us and accepted us with true glory, a wikid gal with the heart of a snowball! The young lass from river, none other than DORES! this girl kept Jacqui and Gemma on their feet all week, and without her well without her, the ski trip wouldnt have been the ski trip!! Ang...not in our cabin, butt still her spirit remained with us, on ya sonya!!! Tara Ruby Yost..a companion to us on the slopes..a lovely duck! And finally to Jacqui....who without her funny antics 24/7 and her smelly aroma, we would not have had the strength to carry on!she puts the smile into dial! and to Gemma, who broke about 8 legs but was still coragious enuff to keep ski ing! To all these people mentioned above, our heartfelt thanks go to you, because WE LOVED U ON THE SKI TRIP and well we still do to this very day!!!!

TO ALL WHO HAVE READ THIS SKI TRIP REPORT, WE TRUST THAT U TO HAVE ENJOYED THE UPS AND DOWNS WHICH WE ENCOUNTERED, AND WE ALL RECOMMEND U GO TO BRIGHT, AND RIDE NONE OTHER THAN TIMMERRS TRANSPORTS UP THE SLOPES AND EXPERIENCE THE TRUE MT HOTHAM EXPERIENCE! and until next year, we say goodbye from the seven commentry team!